Alec Baldwin Already Assumes You Think He's Had Sex With Animals

Alec Baldwin may have a surprising new lover —- the deericorn. In an interview with the New York Post about his seeming mid-life crisis, 30 Rock's master thespian railed at the tabloids for focusing all their energies on his unpaid voiceover work while missing all the truly interesting stories about his life. As Baldwin told the Post:

"The other 360 days of the year, when you're just handing out lollipops and riding unicorns through cotton-candy forests and everything's so magical, they don't report that."

Baldwin's right. In the wake of budget cuts, major news organizations have dropped their enchanted forest bureaus. His work as the Angelina Jolie of fictional, fairy tale creatures has gone largely unnoticed. But perhaps that's a good thing. Baldwin goes on to discuss his political ambitions, saying of potential skeletons in his closet:

"I would say to people: 'Assume I've done everything. I want you to assume I've had sex with animals.

Could his lollipop dispensing be a cover for something more sinister? Was Baldwin "grooming" the unicorns in a real-life version of his Pervy Camp Counselor sketch on Saturday Night Live? It seems it's only a matter of time before a disgruntled Centaur and Lorax team up for a sordid tell-all.

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