Slate Fears Beer Ads May Become 'Meaningless Imagery'

Is it possible that beer advertising is becoming "silly" and "arbitrary?" We're going to go with "what do you mean, 'becoming?'" But the lack of "weight" and "integrity" to the "brand stories" of beer companies these days is really weighing on Seth Stevenson, Slate's generally sharp ad critic-and a man who obviously takes beer very seriously. While you or I might just accept that beer ads, of all things, are destined to be stupid in order to appeal to drunks, Stevenson allows a vapid Amstel commercial to send him into a deep spiral of despair. Why aren't they emphasizing the "five valid, logical criteria for choosing one beer over another" in their TV spots?!?!:

By my reckoning, there are five valid, logical criteria for choosing one beer over another. 1) Flavor. 2) Calorie count. 3) Packaging (because who doesn't love the functional advantages of wide-mouths, minikegs, tallboys, and forties?). 4) Alcohol content (because some beers get you drunk much faster than others). 5) The good or bad corporate citizenship of the brewer. Everything else is just meaningless imagery.

Ha, yes. Yes it is.

[Read Stevenson's entire uncharacteristically earnest beer ad rant here.]