Jonas Brothers Poised To Annoy, Baffle Adults

Since the Disney Teen Idol Factory's Miley Cyrus model has developed a "slutty photos" malfunction, the company is ramping up the marketing on its male prototypes, The Jonas Brothers. Like Cyrus, the band has sold millions of albums but you probably can't name a single one of their songs unless you spend a lot of time around 12 year-old girls. According to The New York Times, the trio features none of Cyrus's dangerous hints of a sex drive.

On this particular May evening, the band members wore “purity” rings, reflecting their stated intentions to save themselves sexually for marriage.

Parents, prepare to buy your daughter a silver ring to match her blonde Hannah Montana wig. Because there will be no escaping the brothers.

The brothers — Kevin, 20, Joseph, 18, and Nick, 15 — are to be fully unleashed on the American public starting Tuesday night, when a preview of their new movie, “Camp Rock,” will be made available on Disney Channel on Demand, a limited-availability service offered to some Time Warner Cable, Cablevision and Verizon customers. On Friday the movie will begin its run on the Disney Channel, with an audio simulcast on Radio Disney, followed by broadcasts on ABC on Saturday and the ABC Family channel on Sunday.

While Camp Rock sounds like a perfectly innocent Critical Studies thesis on the life of Freddy Mercury, the Times warns that it is just the beginning of the Jonas Brothers onslaught. With a new video, 46-date North American tour and 3-D theatrical film release on the horizon, we advise you to make the most of your remaining hours of freedom. Go to the beach. Spend time with your significant other. Because once Camp Rock debuts, there's no escaping our new, adorable overlords.

[Photo Credit: Wire Image]