Tiger Woods has announced that he tore his ACL and will miss the rest of the golf season, so it's time to despair, toss your golf clubs in the water, and sell any investments you have in any company remotely connected with golf as fast as possible. TV networks that show golf tournaments and the companies that advertise on those broadcasts are doing exactly that right now, although with slow, undetectable movements, and with a broad smile on their face for the press. "Golf will be fine!" they'll say, with their stomachs sinking as they look at the numerical proof of the "Tiger Effect":

Golf's No. 1-ranked player and the world's top-earning athlete guarantees the biggest crowds and highest ratings. For TV executives, his absence will be hard to ignore - 40 percent of golf watchers actually turn off the television when Tiger's not playing, studies have shown.

Hmm, a mere 40% drop. Even the Golf Channel, with its hardcore fans, sees a 30% drop without Tiger. Over the last five years, tournaments without Tiger have seen 30% lower ratings that those with him—a difference of 2 million viewers per. Among the companies screwed the most: Buick and Deutsche Bank, both of whom had big ad campaigns tied into Tiger.

Tiger Woods himself: just chilling for a few months with his supermodel wife and mansions.