I promised I wouldn't take another vacation. The last time I did, all hell broke loose. Larry and Sergey turned a Nasa base into their private jet hangar, Six Apart dumped its CEO, and Kevin Rose broke his iPhone. I dread the notion of leaving the Valley unsupervised for a week. But since September, I've replaced my entire collection of minions. Valleywag is now run by two drunks, a fag, a whore, and a madman. I am leaving Valleywag, and you, gentle readers, in their hands for a week, while I reacquaint myself with sunshine. And perhaps a wee bit of tin-smithing. I shall return on June 30, with the fervent hope that there will be a few Facebook and Yahoo executives left to write about by then.