What appears to be a very innocent, all-American clip of lush-turned-lesbian Lindsay Lohan playing a game of baseball on the set of Labor Pains kind of reminds us of watching a Disney film from the '90s. Upon first viewing, you walk away feeling warm and fuzzy, confident that life is full of happy endings, laughter, and pretty hair. But after watching it about five times, you may notice the brief glimpse of cock sneakily inserted into a frame by a pervy animator, or an underlying message about females being the weaker sex. In the case of this Lindsay video, we were at first struck by the innocence of LiLo taking part in America's pasttime, but after watching the clip a second and third time, we know our lasting memories will be of Lindsay using a grip's body to shield her so that she could light a smoke (not to mention her jiggling around as she lamely runs the bases). The video and some additional analysis follows after the jump.
Surrounded by an army of protectors, servants, and production assistants instructed to alert her the moment Sam Ronson finally appears bearing cigarettes and liquid adrenaline, you may attempt to concentrate on the clip and notice the familiar sound of police sirens coming from some mysterious location. Not to worry. You are not busted for whatever caused you to get the shakes upon hearing them. They're coming from your computer! And they're most likely after Lindsay! Which is why she stands within hiding distance of the surrounding trailers and tents customized to camouflage all cast members decked out in the dusty old wardrobe from The Bad News Bears. Though we are delighted to note the presence of an actual bra supporting Lohan's freckly pieces of "art," the sight of Lohan bent over and huffing smokes on her own personal Field Of Dreams is probably something that would make Peter Gammons keel over once and for all.
- LINDSAY LOHAN PLAYS BASEBALL IN THE VALLEY [Hollywood.tv]