·An arranged marriage between DreamWorks and an Indian conglomerate leaves questions about the kids.
· Prelude to a Hindi Turkey: Penelope Spheeris recalls what a moody little shit Mike Myers is. His incomprehensible Actor's Studio pep-talk. The Guru arrives! And it smells like lesbian-elephant-sex on ice.
· We hit the LAFF, where Wanted proves just smartly stupid enough for our heatwave-diminished cranial capacities.
· Anne Hathaway has a busy week, full of break-ups, hate-ons, and big-screen bows.
· We sort the merely difficult from the stroppy all-stars.
· We get Dr. Drew on the phone to clear up what's going on with this Tom Cruise/Nazi nonsense.
· David Letterman and Teri Garr, reunited and it feels so good.
· Mashew McConauhdrgrl loses a flip-flop in Nicaragua.
· Joan Rivers goes unappreciated on live UK daytime TV.
· A Bruno release date uncovers the fake Defamer title that accidentally tripped up the internets.
· Michael Eisner's kid needs a Michael Clayton-type, and quick.
· Quick! Can you spot the giant-headed star of Gigli among this crowd of four-foot-tall African schoolchildren?
· Don't bother Abigail Breslin with your demands. She'll wear a wig. She'll do it in one take. It'll turn out fine.
· This is what Breach money gets you.

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