In a wide-ranging radio interview conducted before literally tens of adoring fans, Jessica Simpson seized the opportunity to clear up some outlandish rumors: namely, that stage father Joe Simpson is a little more hands-on than necessary. Said the newly-styled country singer to K-FROG (via Us Magazine):
"There have been stories that are ridiculous," Simpson said. "Like my father really fit me for a training bra. Like, who believes that kind of thing!?"
Seriously, you guys! How could you even think such a thing about Poppa Joe? The man is a former Baptist minister who would never, ever cross an inappropriate sexual line with his daughters.
Some girls get sheepish when their dads talk about their periods, boyfriends, or accidental walk-ins, but when your dad is Joe Simpson and he goes to GQ talking about your jubblies, it can affect your sanity—and your career. The quote, in case you're the last person on earth to hear it: "Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got DOUBLE Ds! You can't cover those suckers up!"
And he would know, since he totally didn't fit her for a training bra or anything. Still, we encourage Jessica to relax; if there's anything we've learned from our two days as guest editor, it's that inappropriate family sexytime is more than condoned in Hollywood — it's encouraged! In the spirit of the new Arrested Development movie, we encourage Jess to kick back with a DVD of Les cousins dangereux, a bottle of wine, and an embrace of her new country music street cred that money can't buy.