Remember the big paparazzi beat-down by surfers in Malibu this past weekend? Well, there's now supposed to be a big Saturday rumble between the two groups, who have been trading taunts in the comments of pap-run news site X17.com. The original clash pitted a mob of entitled white Malibu denizens against the rough-and-tumble paps, some of whom are ex-gang members and many of whom are immigrants, some illegal. The new fight promises even more fun ethnic tension under the sun:
"I will Karate Chop anybody and everybody that looks like Eurotrash," wrote one surfer. " And to you Brazilian roid boy - I am going to punch you in the vagina."
And from a pap, via the Daily News:
"I've made $94K a year and I'm only four months into it ... because stupid white trash people like your fat mother buy the magazines. We hunt the very people you worship for no reason."
So basically, as the Daily News noted, the brawl is shaping up to look like something out of West Side Story.
Who to root for? Even if they were the victims in this case, the paps can be pretty brutal and unlawful themselves. And those who show up to inflict physical battery on their opponents lose the right to wrap themselves in the legal protection of the First Amendment. The surfers, on the other hand, are the thugs who made this thing physical in the first place, and they have the nerve to be self-righteous about it.
Hopefully it won't matter, because every paparazzo will want to be the one trying to slyly hang back and capture preciou$$$ footage of the big fight, while the surfers will realize they can't, in an evenly-numbered match, lick a bunch of nasty paps as though they were tasty waves, and besides they'll likely be caught on camera if they do.
Anyway, if it does happen, I want to get the play-by-play recap ONLY from this guy.