Scientists have devised a new test that will tell you whether or not you're a shopaholic. This sounds like great news—wouldn't it be useful to know if that afternoon spent at Barneys was a necessary revamp of your fall wardrobe or the sign of an awful addiction?—except the "scientists" in this case are actually marketing professors, and the "test" is a survey in the manner of "Is Your Romance Headed for Marriage?"
The test's statements, like "much of my life centers around buying things; I buy things I don't need; I buy things I did not plan to buy," would probably diagnose around 90% of Americans as shopaholics—which is actually kind of appropriate given that the country's economy is currently in the throes of admitting it has a problem. As for what those with too many unopened shopping bags in their closet should do about it, "education" and "self-help programs" are needed, say the researchers. But you know what else is a surprisingly effective treatment? When your credit card company won't lend you any more money because of its own massive debt!