Will They All Be As Bitchy As Heather Mills?

Britain, the place where horrible television is born, has determined to give Paul McCartney some rebound dating options with Britain's Missing Top Model, a modeling competition for women missing limbs. The amputee fetishists of a nation tremble in anticipation. Pictures and pathos after the jump.

The Guardian talks to Richard McKerrow, the mind behind Missing Top Model, Filthy Rich and Homeless, and much of Britain's other fine reality programming

McKerrow says that his approach is to get people (above all, the channel commissioners) to think: "You can't do that." Currently in production are: Naked Calendar (builders/nurses/teachers are challenged to bare all); My Life as a ... Pig (humans live like animals); and Boys and Girls (a gender experiment in which 12 girls and 12 boys live in separate villages, observed by their parents).

Surprisingly, Mr. McKerrow is not involved with the new G4 show where teens vomit on each other.

The Times has a generally negative review that does involve a truly bitchcakes synopsis of America's Next Top Model.

I have watched a 17-year-old with a fever trying to sit on an ice sculpture in a bikini, holding a snake, while Tyra Banks shouts "FIERCE EYES, Uniqua! FIERCE EYES!" from the sidelines. Modelling's pretty tough.

But The Times fails to find the charm in a woman missing an elbow performing similar feats.

Now, bring on the girls!

Will They All Be As Bitchy As Heather Mills?

Here's Kellie-with-an-IE, she's 23 and from the East Midlands.

Will They All Be As Bitchy As Heather Mills?

Here's Kelly-with-a-Y-but-without-an-arm, she's 23 and from South East England.

Will They All Be As Bitchy As Heather Mills?

Here's Debbie from the Netherlands. She's missing an arm, and the good taste not to wear those leggings.

Will They All Be As Bitchy As Heather Mills?

And here's Lilli, she's 20, from the South East of England, and I'm not sure what part of her is missing, but it's certainly not that gut.

Comments referencing land mine tragedy are encouraged!

[Guardian]