You may not know this, but somebody’s having a birthday this week. That’s right, it’s your old buddy America. And to celebrate, President Bush has given all his loyal subjects Friday off. But with the specter of a long flag-filled weekend looming in the horizon, some folks have decided to check out a little early. Talk shows are in reruns, agents and lawyers aren’t returning calls, and even our own ST VanAirsdale has headed off to Bora Bora on a secret tryst with Nikki Finke. But here at Defamer HQ, the show must go on. That’s why we called in the extremely talented (and modest) Nick Malis. He’ll be guest blogging for the rest of the week, giving you all the Madonna-divorcing, Angelina-twin-having news you can handle before you gorge yourself on burgers and dogs on Friday. Give him a warm welcome, folks.