The irrationally cocky Russian guy from America's Most Smartest Model has had charges of harassment and sexual abuse dropped by the New York DA's office. Andre Birleanu was one of the dominant personalities of VH-1's America's Next Top Model, a show beloved by all who enjoy hilarity and/or masturbation. He managed to make it all the way to the finals but got beaten out by a blander, boringer, but still freakishly hot guy named VJ. Late last year a 19 year old actress alleged Birleanu grabbed her inappropriately and touched her genitalia at an industry party. A super-hot guy who has an overdeveloped sense of sexual entitlement? That just doesn't make any sense. Birleanu's reading of the situation was quite sensitive. "I didn't molest anyone... I already slept with that girl, so it's strange she would say I touched her inappropriately."

I've always said, the same rules applies to penises and vampires: once you invite them in, they're always allowed to return. Also, garlic burns them.

According to, Andre's not unfamiliar with the business end of a gavel.

This is far from the America's Most Smartest Model contestant's first run-in with the law. The Post also reports that law enforcement sources have said that he "has served a half-dozen prison stints since 2000 on charges including assault, harassment, criminal contempt, criminal mischief and trespassing."

One recent incident included an accusation of harassment and stalking. In this case, the accuser claimed that he left her "menacing messages," grabbing her hair and threatening to break her legs.

And in 2003, he served 6-months in jail for harassment, contempt and assault.

Thank God the DA's office has decided to let Mr. Birleanu alone. Isn't the real crime here the idea that a man with really low body fat and extremely symmetrical features would have to ask a woman before touching her pudding pie?