A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS

Courageous Guest of a Guest blogger Doug braved the unthinkable this weekend: Jill Zarin's 4th of July party in the Hamptons. The Real Housewives of New York City star and her husband hold an annual backyard soirée at their landed estate, and Doug was (un)fortunate enough to receive an invitation. Everything just farted class, from the salmon and lobster salad to the lychee martinis to the "Team Jill" dessert cookies. And look, even RHoNYC costars Bethenny and Countess LuAnn (wearing flamenco water wings) were there, teetering about in all white, mistaking the event for an actual party (sort of) worth covering. A humble and grateful guest, Doug doesn't really dish any dirt, but there are photographs, so you can make up your own tragic stories. Some select few await you after the jump.

Jill and daughter.

A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS

Jill and her "gay husband" (Barf.) Correction: There is a gay husband, and he was there, but this is not him. This is her actual hubby.

A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS

The ladies who lunch at the second most expensive restaurant.

A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS

"Later on I'm going parasailing."

A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS

"I'm still heeeere."

A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS

Pool partay!

A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS

It's about balls.

A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS

She's not married and has a job, and yet she's still a housewife.

A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS

Ghosts of guests.

A Very Real Housewives Independence DayS