Ashley Alexandra Dupré's Humanity-Crushing Reality Show

Because the world has not yet suffered enough, a reality show about a hooker looking for love may soon be foisted upon us. When Ashley Alexandra Dupré was sadly diddling former New York governor Eliot Spitzer in a tony Manhattan hotel room, I'll bet she never imagined that one glorious day an outlet as prestigious as E! would report that she was getting a reality show of her very own. The alleged show, in which she may entertain a variety of potential suitors, would set in motion a plan that involves Dupré becoming "the next Tila Tequila," according to a source. And that, folks, really is it.

It's been a good run, but when we give a television show to a prostitute who looks to a fake bisexual MySpace star (whose own reality show involves eating bugs pig vaginae and fetish costume parties) as some sort of career aspiration, I think it's about time we packed it in. I don't care where you go, you just can't stay here. I for one will be poking around old English manors looking for Narnia.