John McCain used to totally love hanging out with reporters, back when he drove the Straight Talk Express, a giant party bus where the liberal press corps could smoke their hippie reefer weed and listen to old man MAVERICK tell hilarious stories about being tortured by "gooks." But now all the top journalists have abandoned McCain for the new cool kid, teen pop sensation Barack Obama, and so the Republican presidential candidate bitterly decided to only accept questions from angry people in wheelchairs and craven conservative bloggers. Here are the only two questions allowed during a July 1 campaign conference call, recorded by a reporter for progressive magazine Mother Jones (who will never be allowed to talk to or make eye contact with McCain, ever):
The first came from [conservative blogger] Ed Morrissey, who asked Graham and Swindle, "Can you explain the significance of John McCain's command experience in the Navy...as well as whatever leadership he has shown in the Senate....and can you address...that Barack Obama doesn't have any executive experience at all?"
The next query came from [conservative blogger] Matt Lewis. Referencing retired General Wesley Clark's recent comment that McCain's military service and POW experience did not qualify him to be president, Lewis asked Graham and Swindle if Clark's remark was part of "a concerted effort by the Obama campaign, or can liberals simply not keep themselves from attacking the military?"
Then the call was over.
Of course, McCain no longer needs the press, because he can go direct to voters with his amazing new ad slogan, "Don't hope for a better life."