Gwyneth Paltrow's Kids In Rehearsals For Cross-Dressing Toddler Tour

Our borderline obsession with Gwyneth Paltrow’s new look as a S&M fetishist during her Iron Man promotional Tour of Transparent Minidresses may have rubbed off on lookalike daughter Apple. But not the way you’d think. Rather than doing the typical copycat routine most little girls go through when their mom is hot, the 4-year old papier-mache donkey fan is not turning herself into a fashionista, but using little brother Moses as her muse. As Paltrow says, “She makes Moses cross-dress.” The question is: how far is Apple taking the tranny toddler theme, and does this mean little Moses is destined for an adolescence of boy-curious desires like his dear old Dad?

Gwyneth Paltrow's Kids In Rehearsals For Cross-Dressing Toddler Tour

Admittedly, the tousled blondie Moses would probably look very hot to trot in a pair of Mom's tarantula heels, but being the devoted maternal icon Gwyneth is, we hope she puts a stop to this cross-dressing business at footwear considering the kid can barely walk yet. And Paltrow makes sure to backpedal on the overshare with People by adding that "[Apple] doesn't put makeup on him!" Phew! As long as gollops of Merlot-shaded lipstick and inch-long eyelash extensions aren't included in Apple's bag of cross-dressing tricks, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that Moses won't follow in the footsteps of Brad Pitt penis-envying Chris Martin, who wound up so bicurious he became convinced Gwyneth's "boobs are fantastic" just to straighten out.

[Photo credits: X17, FilmMagic]