No One Actually Wants to Pay Money for Slade Smiley, Even If It's For Charity

Of all the fucking awful people that have wandered through Bravo's Real Housewives series, Slade Smiley might be the worst. (Well, second worst.) On the Orange County iteration of the reality debacle, the arrogant dope (whose birth name, we're convinced, wasn't fucking "Slade") demanded that his much-younger (she was 24 at the time) fiancé Jo "grow up" and stop going out all the time and take care of his children, but also liked to dress her up in sexy French maid outfits. So it's funny to hear now that while promoting Date My Ex, his new Bravo reality show in which he pimps out his now-ex-fiancé (go girl! sort of) for airtime and potential profit, he suffered a grave embarrassment:

At a charity auction/promote-a-thon at overdone NYC clurrrb Tenjune, Slade was humiliated on the block:

But the evening's climax came when Slade stepped up to the auction block. The final auction of the night, Slade initially went for $2,250 — but the winning bidder never stepped up to claim her prize. When the auctioneer backpedaled and tried to give Slade away to the $2,000 bidder, she went mum as well, forcing the organizers to restart the auction (while Jo danced on a banquette away from the stage, cheering on the debacle). "This is New York, I thought there was more money than that," Slade said to the crowd. Upon re-bid, he ended up selling for a measly $1,200.

Ha! Serves you, stupid. Why don't you go cry to all your guy friends. You know, like Ridge and Shipsmast and Northdakota.