XXL Magazine Threatened By "Utter Teh Gheyness" Of Hipsters

The hip hop magazine XXL has a serious problem: It was founded back in the days when hip hop people actually wore XXL clothes. Now, everybody wears tight pants, and young'uns don't even understand what "XXL" means. So Byron "Bol" Crawford, a blogger for the magazine's website-whom I secretly love (NO HOMO, Bol) because he is perhaps the most offensive asshole on earth-is trying to revive the relevance of XXL's name by encouraging hip hop to "reclaim its manliness." By, uh, smashing all "teh gheyness."

First, Bol airs his objections to "the fact that mofos are walking around wearing purses and tight-ass pants showing off their nuts." Well let's be honest, who wants to see the nuts of others, unsolicited? Then he critiques this story in the Voice about a Brooklyn rap crew and its anti-tight clothes anthem:

Of course, with it being the gay-ass Village Voice, these guys are painted as virulent homophobes and failed no-talents trying to capitalize off a gimmick.

Well sure. His proposed savior of hip hop? This guy below, whose video is an ode to smashing tight-be-pantsed rap kids with bats. I find hipster hop as annoying as anyone, but this is really not the solution. Where's the love here, Bol? NO HOMO: