As with any story involving Lindsay Lohan, we have good and bad news to report. We noted back in March that the queen of all things Lesbian Chic would finally follow in every other bored starlet's wobbly footsteps and design a clothing line. And, being the non-traditionalist that she is, Lohan intended on sticking to leggings. Which made sense, considering the practical usage of leggings when taking a walk of shame, in need of a secure and moisture-proof hiding place for substances, and stretching out one's legs while passed out in SUVs. And leave it to Lindsay to turn the otherwise boring piece of clothing into a racy collection of pieces custom-made for any girl looking for a comfy place to rest her knees mid-blow job. Not to mention a surefire way to slip on a pair of "ankle gloves" and alert every male within 30 miles just how eager you are to spread said ankles:
The starry-eyed Kitson wannabe Intuition, who assures online shoppers they cater "to celebrities and Hollywood wives" in case you were worried, has an exclusive first look at Lindsay's highly anticipated leggings line, and the rumored public blow job volunteer has delivered a mini-preview that does not disappoint. In another apparent homage to her (yes, we get it already) icon Marilyn Monroe, the entire collection is called "6126," Monroe's birthday, and one standout pair is named the "Mr. President Leggings," an eyesore that comes with built-in knee pads. Get it?! Like, when you're doing a striptease and croaking out "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" to your nearly unconscious beau of the moment, a mere $132 will ensure a blurry morning after without any pesky knee scrapes for once!