Madonna and Guy Keep It Classy

The Madonna-Guy Ritchie messiness continues: The biological father of Madonna's adopted son says he might be better off in his native country of Malawi, Ritchie supposedly told friends that having sex with Madge was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," Madonna has described Ritchie as a gold-digger, and the two sides aren't even close to finalizing a divorce settlement, which means this is going to continue for a long, long time. [NYDN, Mirror, NYP, SS]
Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen may get married at Tavern on the Green, of all places. [P6]
Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan got into a little fight aboard the Acela. [P6]

Angelina Jolie has said she plans to adopt another baby. But now she's suggesting it may be a baby from Ethiopia so daughter Zahara has someone to "bond" with. [Mirror]
Paris Hilton is thinking about moving to London. Yay. [Showbiz Spy]
Mr. Blackwell (he of "Worst Dressed" fame) has died. [People]
Diana Bianchi, the woman who had an affair with Peter Cook when he was married to Christie Brinkley, is talking to Playboy about appearing in the mag. [P6]
Chris Martin says he was "just fooling around" when he punched a reporter at an awards show in London earlier this month. [R&M]
Mad Men star John Slattery went on a tirade while having lunch at Pastis on Friday, calling Robert De Niro and Al Pacino (among others) a bunch of names. [R&M]
Paul McCartney has moved in with his girlfriend. [Showbiz Spy]
Mary-Kate Olsen left a generous tip while dining at Bottino last week. She also left a wad of chewed-up gum stuck to the table. [P6]
Matt Lauer will get roasted at the Friars Club on Friday. [R&M]
Sarah Palin's appearance on SNL generated the highest ratings for the show in 14 years. [NYDN]