As many loyal Defamer readers must know by now, our favorite blind items tend to include three elements: closeted actors, drug-addicted actresses, and those rare but joyous items that include the quote “Do you want to fuck my wife?” And kudos to the NY Daily News for providing us with the gruesomely enjoyable trifecta all in one sordid little piece today:
”Which cocaine-loving actress is said to be relying on her closeted husband to meet guys? A source says that when they were at a party recently, the hubby asked a fellow guest, ‘Do you want to bleep my wife? Because you can.’”
Sounds like a cinch, abounding with potential suspects, right? Not so fast. After our handy thinking caps proved to be malfunctioning this morning (or, possibly, the mindgrapes under said cap?), we took a few guesses after the jump, but today calls for the help of you commenters who, as always, are typically far more savvy at this sort of thing than us:
Anyone else who sadly remembers Mango the flamboyant monkey, or Corky Romano the flamboyant mob kid or, really, Chris Kattan the flamboyant Chris Kattan, was surely as shocked as we were to hear someone like model/actress Sunshine Tutt had agreed to marry the quirky little guy. Is she a cokehead, though? Well, were we forced to utter "Sunshine Tutt" whenever introducing ourselves to someone, we might need something to bolster a bit of confidence too. Melanie Griffith has admitted to dabbling with her fair share of substances in the past, and hubby Banderas has not only high-kicked on Broadway, but dude has not one, but two
perfumes colognes under his shiny belt. Yasmine Bleeth, maybe the biggest repeat offender in cocaine bustland, is married, but we (and, we suspect, she) don't have a clue who this husband of hers is, but perhaps none of the above matters. When we hear the term "closeted actor," we instinctively picture the two actors most closely associated with the phrase in the public's eye: man-smoocher John Travolta and macho, macho man Tom Cruise. Katie Holmes is many things, but a cokehead? Nah. Kelly Preston, on the other hand... How an actress could fake her way through filming an explicit sex scene with Cruise without the aid of drugs? The world may never know.
[Photo credits: Wireimage, FilmMagic, Getty]