Boy Band Hustler Needs To Make License Plates Faster

Who knew that robbing the Backstreet Boys could have so many financial rewards, on top of the emotional satisfaction? Lou Pearlman, the sleazebag boy band promoter who managed Backstreet and N'Sync, among others, has been ordered to repay $300 million to hundreds of people that he swindled in a Ponzi scheme that played out for decades. But uh, according to our forensic accounting, he might have a little trouble making full restitution:

It will be difficult for Pearlman to repay all the money while he is behind bars [serving his 25-year prison sentence for fraud]. Pearlman made millions in the record industry in the 1990s, but investigators have found that money and more seemingly gone with the collapse of his Ponzi scheme.

He's been allowed to manage - at arm's length - the few remaining music acts he still has. He could also offer wages from whatever job he gets in federal prison, ranging from 12 cents an hour to $1.15 an hour for top-scale factory work.

Once he works his way up to that top-scale job he can erase the debt in just over 130,000 years. MATH.

[AP]