The Upkeep On Jennifer Aniston Is Ridiculous

• Jennifer Aniston spends $20,000 per month on beauty treatments, supposedly, including twice-a-month, $1,000-a-pop spa treatments for cellulite. All to impress John Mayer, who kissed Perez Hilton? [Enquirer]
• Actress Tatum O'Neal is paying a fine and attending two half-day drug-treatment sessions as punishment for her crack buy. Her dealer? Deported! No wonder he was saying he felt abandoned. [Post]
• Director Mike Nichols had a coronay bypass operation over the weekend and is recuperating. [P6]
• After deciding Sarah Jessica Parker was the "unsexiest woman alive," Maxim magazine is now calling her its "Unexpected Crush." Maxim is a 12 year-old boy. [Post]
• Before throwing herself at actress Drew Barrymore's ex, Justin Long, actress Kirsten Dunst followed actor Emile Hirsch to a club, by herself. [P6]
• Teen star Miley Cyrus gave a "rude hand gesture" to some paparazzi while riding a rollercoaster. But it somehow involved two fingers. One gesture, two fingers — how rude could it have been? [Showbiz Spy]
• The girlfriend of the brother of Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend Sam Ronson is "confirming" they are together. This would be what is meant by "inching out of the closet," right?? [Sun]

Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.

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