Ellen Page To Play Beauty Queen / Roller Derby Racer Dressed Only In Men's Wearhouse Bargain Bin Scores

Oh Ellen Page. Why must you make it so easy to spark lesbionic rumors after every public appearance, from outfits showcasing your boyish frame, hiring a Power Lesbian publicist to defend your Non-Power Lesbian status, and showing Jay Leno and the country just how masculine your workout moves are? Not to mention that business of stroking your phantom goatee during the macho exercises in question? Adding more flame to the female-loving fire, Page is currently filming Whip It! in Michigan alongside Drew Barrymore in the newly single actress’ directorial debut. And after hearing the trajectory of Page’s star character Bliss, including every budding Chic Lesbian’s preference of roller derby races over that superficial tradition of beauty pageants (note: we are just imagining what Ellen’s Us-recruited body language expert would "think"), we can't exactly believe with certainty that Page isn't a member of Closeted Hollywood. Not to mention these photos of the Diablo-spawned prodigy on set looking her makeup-free, greasy-haired, baggy sweatpants-wearing finest:

Ellen Page To Play Beauty Queen / Roller Derby Racer Dressed Only In Men's Wearhouse Bargain Bin Scores

So yes, we highly doubt anyone will be rushing to the theaters next year in some kind of SATC or Devil Wears Prada estrogen frenzy to see Page's uninspiring fashions, but two primary reasons why we think news like that is just grand, come to mind:

1) Early details about Barrymore's first crack at the director's chair reveal character names like Dinah Might, Bloody Holly, and Malice In Wonderland. Which would otherwise be somewhat tacky little gimmicks were it not for (we suspect) Drew's uncanny talent for making any sappy, giggly, poorly written chick flick watchable, and the fact that Juliette Lewis, Marcia Gay Harden and Defamer favorite Kristen Wiig are all co-starring.

2) Nobody likes an estrogen frenzy.

So if Page remains determined to straddle the fine line between bi-curious and going incognito while on the DL using the most unnoticeable boy's clothes to disguise herself, we should really be thanking the bison-fan for preventing yet another endless cluster of pink Manofaux Blahniks crowd our sidewalks every weekend.

[Photo credits: INF]