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Which of These 6 Perversely Fascinating YouTube Memes Speaks to the Darkness of Your Soul?

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Jellllyyyyyfisshhh!!

The multi-tentacled jellyfish menace is loose in New York waters and nothing you can do will stop it! Quickly, swim, swim for shore, damn you! The floating blobs of fury are breeding as we speak. A swimmer died during the New York triathlon last weekend, and while doctors say there's no evidence a jellyfish sting was involved, the media is doing its part to keep you safe; no fewer than four newspapers today run stories about jellyfish, and how you definitely should not PANIC about their invertebrate invasion. They're replacing sharks as the media darlings of the sea!

The Daily News:

Esteban Neira of Lanus, Argentina, died Sunday after swimming in the Hudson River during the New York City Triathlon. Dozens of fellow athletes reported being stung by swarms of jellyfish, and afterward they wondered whether Neira fell victim to the slimy creatures.


The Times
:

Vince Lingner, 44, from Inwood, who completed the triathlon, said he got stung two or three times.

“You can feel this weirdness, this heat going up your arm, then little spots of heat radiating from the place where you got stung,” he said. “I’d never been stung by a jellyfish before, but I’d heard about it. So when it happened, I thought, well, this is what it feels like.”

The Sun:

The cyanea capillata, better known as the Lion's Mane, has been arriving in "giant swarms" since last year, Ms. Drew said. The species can be more than a foot in diameter and has tentacles even longer than that.

Newsday:

They say one breed in particular _ the lion's mane _ showed up about a month earlier than usual. The biologists blame everything from breeding conditions and climate change for the abundance of jellyfish so early in the season.

Cornell University biologist Mark Bain says there is "widespread evidence of increasing jellyfish around the world."

Whatever you do, don't let them know you're afraid. They can sense it—in their jelly.


Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.


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By Hamilton Nolan
Jul 22, 2008 10:50 AM 3,884 71
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