Big Black Car: Prince of Darkness Mows Down Pedestrian In DC Mêlée

Robert Novak-respected conservative journalist/commentator and grim spectre of soulless walking death-ran over a guy in his black Corvette this morning. Hilariously, a Politico reporter got the story by walking by. Novak hit the guy and then continued merrily speeding along until a bicyclist stopped him and said "you hit someone." Novak allegedly threw his head back and cackled for a moment before shooting him. There are no details about the pedestrian's condition. Look, we need to share more details about this with you. Just click.

In 2001, the longtime political columnist cursed at a pedestrian on the corner of Pennsylvania and 13th St., NW, for allegedly jay walking.

"'Learn to read the signs, [bodily orifice]!' Novak snapped before speeding away," according to an item in the Washington Post's Reliable Source column.

Or he will run you over, [intercourse enthusiast].

If recent history is any indication, Judy Miller will get jail time for this.