Surprise: Prison Is Not Agreeing with Raffaello Follieri

This is going to come as shocking news, we're sure, but it seems convicted con man Raffaello Follieri is not having a fun time in prison. His lawyer submitted a letter to the sentencing judge this week and he reports that Follieri has been horrified to find that "the food looks spoiled, the showers are filthy with excrement and the place smells really bad." And he doesn't have a window either, which would suck in any case, sure, but probably sucks even more when your last apartment was a $37,500-a-month Trump Tower duplex.

It's all had a devastating effect on the ex-boyfriend of Anne Hathaway. His lawyer says he's now "short of breath, has blood in his urine and is debilitated from a series of stomach problems." And he has a fever, too, which he lawyer can personally attest to: "Although I am not a doctor, I have seen him regularly and he feels warm to the touch and his eyes are glassy." Goodness! Just think how much better off Raffi would be if he'd simply followed Anne into acting instead of bilking billionaires. He'd be cradling an Oscar in his arms right now!