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It's been two days since Shia LaBeouf's early-morning DUI accident, in which the well-liquored star of the latest Indy Jones installment was sent hurtling through the air in his three-ton, American-built pickup truck (360 views, specs, and color options available here) at the corners of Fountain and LaBrea. As it turned out, the only thing his heavy-duty ride had picked up that evening was his Transformers sequel co-star, Australian actress Isabel Lucas. While her reportedly miffed boyfriend Adrian Grenier was unforthcoming with status updates, we have it on good authority from the fine people at TransWorld News press release syndicate that her rep "can’t confirm anything...but I have been informed she is at work, on the set of Transformers and is fine.” Phew! We can't confirm anything, either, but we're informed we're extremely relieved for the young actress.Witnesses from the crime scene have since emerged, including passerby Brian Perrulli—aka Tobey Maguire's long-lost goth twin—who recalls a bystander recommending LaBeouf flee the scene (perhaps after placing a floormat over the vehicle and hoping no one noticed it?). But as he told Access Hollywood, Shia was having none of that:

“Shia was tending to the other people in the car, signing over information, like insurance and stuff and basically, I overheard the guy tell him, ‘You should just get out of here and go,’ and Shia said, ‘Nah man. I gotta deal with this. My license plate, it’s my car. I don’t wanna go, I gotta deal with this.’”

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No, seriously: That's Tobey Maguire in a fright wig taping an episode of Pop Fiction, right? Meanwhile, in a stroke of pure metrosexualist-magazine serendipity, LaBeouf appears on the cover of the upcoming issue of Details. (Pictured above, pointing to his ticking love-engine with a still-healthy index finger. *Muffled sob.*) Inside, he's made to address a past checkered by lesser-severe brushes with the law, beginning with his infamous Walgreens skin-care-aisle sit-in:

"It was two hotheads," he says, "one completely in the wrong, one who wasn't enjoying his job that night, going at it about minuscule bullshit." [...] [On] one of his and his [recovering substance-abuser] father's longtime bonding rituals: "We would drink together and smoke together," LaBeouf says, "and it's just a bad deal. It's not something that is conducive to being a role model—no iconic actors that I know of have problems like that. And I don't know how to do it like a gentleman. I don't know how to have one drink."

Really? Not a single, fellow iconic actor, Shia? Off the top of our heads we can think of Drew Barrymore, Carol Burnett, Mel Gibson (not that he's going to help your case)...let's see—just about anyone interviewed for Suzanne Somers's Wednesday's Children: Adult Survivors of Abuse Speak Out. (What—Cindy Williams isn't iconic?) The problem isn't your dad, or learning how to "do it like a gentleman" and stopping after one. It's the minuscule bullshit of thinking your iconic actor beer-shit don't stink.