Disconcerting news: Patron Saint of Eastside Good-Time Drunkenness Kiefer Sutherland has put his bachelor's paradise up for sale, the Real Estalker blog informs us. Located in a converted foundry on N. Madison (that's Melrose just west of Virgil—hey, we can spit there!), the 14,400 sq. foot warehouse space cost him $700,000 to purchase, and—outfitted with "three bedrooms and four bathrooms...25 foot ceilings and polished concrete floor...[and] curtained off areas that function as an art/painting studio and a home gym set up"—it's now available to you, the Kiefer-Stalking Person or Persons of Means, for a mere $4,895,000. Did we mention it's walking distance to Ye Rustic? Look: We've even Google Mapped it for you! Take a photo tour after the jump:Before you begin sobbing between self-pitying bites of Myrtle Burger—positive the listing means we'll see a reduction in Kiefer's legendary pub-crawling exploits in the area—we'll leave you with this thought: You can take Kiefer out of Silver Lake, but you can never take the Silver Lake out of Kiefer. Whoever buys this property, perhaps some Arabian sultan seriously obsessed with 24, we hereby commission you to erect a wonky-looking-Kiefer mural on its facade. Enjoy the tour.