Maybe you'd rather be luxuriating with hookers and blow in your secret, underground orgy grotto than showing up at the office. Or perhaps your employees in Bangalore are slacking on the job, but you don't care to fly halfway around the world. Never fear, telepresence robots are here! I'm pretty sure you could easily have RoboDynamics, the startup behind them, solder on a remotely-triggered taser or bullwhip in case verbal abuse just won't cut it. Or a teledildonic vibrator, if sexual harassment is more your style. You thought I was joking when I said Apple was developing a Robot Steve Jobs — and it's preprogrammed with epithet-laced tirades and lashing macros for one-click ease.