· The Ivy Chronicles, a Sarah Jessica Parker project about an "upper-middle-class New York mother" who loses it all, has signed The Devil Wears Prada writer Aline Brosh McKenna take on the screenplay. And we just grew a set of ovaries typing that. [THR]
· The Prince of Persia, Disney's Bruckheimerian take on the popular video game series starring Jake Gyllenhaal as the shirtless, saber-wielding warrior, has been delayed by a full year. Excuse us for one moment, will you? THERE IS. NOOO. GODDDD!!!! OK! Back! [Variety]
· Nicolas Cage and director John Carpenter are close to signing on for Scared Straight, about a wayward teen held hostage during a jail riot who turns to prisoner Cage for a way out. Cage agrees, but not before making the teen his bitch. [THR]
· Thomas Jane will play the lead in HBO's pilot Hung, an hour-long "dark comedy" about a man with an enormous manhood, and all that that implies. And we think you know what we mean. Yes, we thought so. [THR]
· Speaking of ubiquitous Dicks, Dick Wolf's pilot Lost and Found has been picked up by NBC. It involves law enforcement and crime-solving of some kind. [Variety]

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