Yesterday, while we were bravely posting traumatic excerpts of the script to Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, the brah-blogger's peeps sent out an electronic casting call for the film. Perhaps we judged Max too harshly, unaware as we were of the high acting standards to which he will hold whoever plays "Jade," referred to in the script as "The Large Titted Woman Who Is Turned On By Being An Object." To look at the cast being assembled, one can't help but conclude that Beer In Hell will be a shoo-in for a coveted Best Feature Film Involving Midget Blowjobs Oscar. Here's what they're looking for in the way of exotic dancers (emphasis from the original, naturally):
JADE: A drop-dead gorgeous stripper with big boobs. She's the main event at the strip club. She tries to negotiate Tucker into the champagne room. She thinks he's cute and funny and seems to enjoy the process of flirting with him independent of the job...10 lines, 1 scene (51) AGE: 18-24 NUDITY NOT REQUIRED, but skimpy stripper attire will be worn. Only submit super-hot, gorgeous women with very large breasts (think Pamela Anderson). Will be in scene with Matt Czuchry, Jesse Bradford, and Geoff Stults, so actresses must be good enough to hold their own onscreen with them.
Implied: MUST HAVE STRONG STOMACH.
Czuchry, by the way, was Logan from Gilmore Girls and is Kate Bosworth's ex. Bradford has appeared in Bring It On and Swimfan. Stults played Ben on 7th Heaven.