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Let the Stapler Chucking Begin: With our lone remaining claim to Summer Olympics lore threatened by Beijing's far-worse smog, LA must find new glories to restore its place among the globe's competitive elite. One such brainstorm is underway at The Hollywood Temp Diaries, whose tireless proprietor Temp X today proposed the Hollywood Assistant Olympic Games — as good a shield as you're likely to have from the two-week hype hurricane promised by NBC. We should use "shield" loosely, though; from cutthroat events like the Stapler Dodge to the iPhone Purchase to the deadly "Moshitta" call-rolling match, the participants face brutal world-class nemeses from both sides of the desk. Meanwhile, up in the Hills, the Belt Buy and 100-Meter Liquidarian Dash will be tried out as exhibition sports for the first time. Defamer salutes all this year's participants — make your city proud. [Hollywood Temp Diaries]