Bruce Ivins, the scientist who killed himself after the government linked him to the 2001 anthrax attacks, reportedly loved sorority girls. As all Americans do! He was supposedly obsessed with the Kappa Kappa Gamma sisters of Princeton. Now, as you can imagine, those girls are fielding a lot of media requests. They don't get it, though! As a sister writes to IvyGate: "i dont really get why he would be so interested in Kappa…i mean of all the sororities on campus we are the most diversely boring…and also the most unworthy of obsession." Regardless of whatever the hell "diversely boring" means (Ivy League education!), surely there's something interesting enough about these ladies to encourage a man to commit bioterrorism, right? We may never know, if these Facebook messages imploring everyone to keep silent are effective.

Hey girls– I just wanted to let everyone know that the group has been made secret for at least the next week in order to protect members' privacy. If you are the admin for a pledge class group, I would recommend that you make that group secret as well, and to all members, I would strongly encourage you to either up your privacy settings or weed out your facebook profile so that nothing is on there that you wouldn't want the world to see. Finally, if a reporter contacts you, through facebook or any other means, do not speak with them. It is Kappa National Policy that actives not speak with the press. If you have any questions, you can call or email me. L, Diana

But America wants to meet the hot co-eds of domestic bioterror! Don't disappoint! Come on, charity car wash on Good Morning America or something!