On the defensive after appearing in a Snickers commercial yanked for homophobia due to its swishy speedwalker, 80's icon Mr. T appeared on The O'Reilly Factor and made it up to gays everywhere the only way he knows how: with glorious, glorious camp. The arm-wrestling brawler immediately produced a long-winded, written defense which he then read from on air; highlights include the passages, "I have been pitying fools for 28 years, Biiiiiill ," "Speedwalking is an Olympic sport," and desperate pleas for someone, anyone, to talk to "SPEEDWALKA!" for his reaction. T particularly triggered our sympathy (not pity, we leave that to the experts) when he whined, "On The A-Team , I called the bad guys a disgrace because they was harassin' helpless people. No problems. No complaints." Too true, T. Compared to GLAAD, those bad guy lobbyists really need to get it together. [Amy Proctor Blog ]