San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom can thank open government sunshine laws for breeding within every hack a dismissive boredom with official communiques, especially when they're delivered in proprietary binary formats within an email attachment. Thankfully, a young hack less jaded than ourselves bothered to open the latest PDF from our hunky God-mayor's communication staff and revealed the following about Gavvy-Gav's plans for today:

Mayor Newsom is on his honeymoon.

Best part? The boilerplate continues "Note: Mayor’s schedule is subject to change." Don't give up hope, ladies! (Photo by Getty/Justin Sullivan)

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