So yes, I lurve the Olympics. But those opening ceremonies? Heh. Judging from the montage put together by our video whiz kids Nick McGlynn and Chris Person (from clips found at Smashing Telly), those kick-off brouhahas tend to be either sensationally and terrifyingly bombastic displays of nationalistic power or ridiculously gay. Or, you know, both. Take a look at them above and shudder in awe. (Disclosure: I will forever be moved by that damn torch-lighting arrow thing.)

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