We saw the disgrace that unfolded recently when Scarlett Johansson's putative e-mail relationship with Barack Obama was exposed for the sham it was, so it's with great care that we broach revelations that George Clooney is reportedly the Senator's new Hollywood BFF. As seen in the accompanying video, however, Obama's new Special Envoy for Text-Message Policy (West Coast) drew attacks Monday from the reactionaries at the Fox News institution Red Eye, which touched on Clooney's underqualifications as both a leading man and a filmmaker: "Do you want to take advice from the man who looked at the Batman and Robin script and said, 'Let's do this'?" Indeed, while we admit bristling at last week's GOP smear linking Obama to Paris Hilton, even we must acknowledge that the "nipple suit" is a far-too-sizable albatross for anyone to contend with come November. [Fox News]