What better way to cool down in the summer heat than with a frozen reality turkeycicle , aka High School Musical: Get In The Picture ? We had yet to encounter the kids vying for whatever it is this show is promising—we assume some sort walk-on role on High School Musical 5: Pregnancy Pact! . But we figured, "Hey— aspiring child actors competing for our hearts and votes on a competitive talent show, what could go wrong?" A lot, it turns out.The series is presided over by host Nick Lachey, who has apparently been directed to address the contestants as if they were kindergarteners on a field trip to the local industrial bakery. Nick: this is not a step in the right career direction. And speaking of the contestants: Where did they find this many teenage weirdos? It's like they managed to round up every junior high kid across the country who'd tell on you for drinking at a sleepover because it "just didn't sit right," dangled the promise of fame in front of them, then turned the cameras to capture their creepily eager smiles and emphatic head-nods as the world's most patronizing day camp counselor ovvverrr-eeenunnnnciiiiates a lecture about the importance of cooperation. We want to beat them up! Where's our little bendy-toy, Victoria ? Ahh—there you are. Better. Much better.