Aug 13, 2008 10:10 PM
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New York, 12:42 AM
Wed Feb 10
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Hey everyone, IvyGate would love to introduce you to a charming new member of Princeton's incoming class, one "Stephany Her RoyalHighness" of Facebook. Probably DYING to escape the sweltering heat and unwashed rubes of Plano, Texas, Stephany has penned something of a manifesto for her freshman year, and posted it to the Princeton 2012 Facebook Group. Sure, it's a wildly elitist piece of work, starting with "do not let ANYONE tell you that you are not better than them, because you are," and continuing on to, "You have deserved this. You are Hitler the fourth, Alexander the Great the Second, Napoleon the Fifth, here to destroy the world we know." But also, and perhaps more importantly, it's a sort of cartoon Ivy League elitism as plausibly imagined by someone from a politically conservative Republican family in a place like, say, Plano, Texas. So maybe the post is a mocking satire? Or an escapist fantasy? You try figuring it out:
You have mercilessly beaten out your friends, your girlfriends, your boyfriends, your brothers, your sisters and every one you have loved...
Try everything once: Pilates, squash, open mic night, tantric sex. What do you have to lose? When you risk everything, you have anything to gain...
Laws are nothing but restrictions: break every one you possibly can...
Pain is weakness leaving the body. That ache in your muscles? The ripped papers? The taste of blood on your lips? The broken condom? The fatigue in your bones? Those are the victories. Life is a beautiful game and you sure as hell are winning...
Boys and Girls, there are no rules to this game. Someone crosses you? It’s BURN BITCH BURN...
This is the death of dynasty. The authorities may make the rules, they may think they have control, but we cannot forget we are Princeton. We are her blood and her bile. And we are the generation they have never seen before.
We are the anti-Christs to save the world from the mercy of God, the self-pity that festers within the masses. Religion is the opiate of the masses, so drug them until they are nothing but slaves at your will. You have deserved this. You are Hitler the fourth, Alexander the Great the Second, Napoleon the Fifth, here to destroy the world we know.
The (presumably Ivy League) commenters on IvyGate can't decide if Stephany is a prankster who infiltrated the Princeton 2012 group or if she's a hero because she lacks "success guilt," LOL.
But it's kind of great that she's repositioning Princeton as a kind of Madrassa for extremist, hyper-hedonistic secular humanism rather than an institution of higher learning. Because, for many students, that's basically what it is, no?
[IvyGate]
Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.
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