Christian Bale is set to get a "caution" about his alleged assault on his Mom and sister in London, but only if he admits guilt first. Comedian Russell Brand: "In England, we have such good manners that if someone says something impolite, the police will get involved. Christian Bale, I believe whilst in a restaurant, rolled his eyes at the lighting. That is an offense punishable by five years in prison in the United Kingdom."
Bill and Hillary Clinton said they aren't going to David "Obama" Geffen's stupid party at the Democratic convention, and Geffen said they weren't invited anyway, mumbling something about what the fatties would do to his catering bill. [P6]
In between macking sessions with boyfriend Justin Bartha, Ashley Olsen consumed two Bloody Mary's and "a little bit" of spaghetti. In other words, a balanced diet. [P6]
Someone is domain squatting AshleyDupre.com. But that's not the Spitzer hooker's real name, and she's probably not about to try to explain to some court how she established ownership over the pseudonym, so... Point to the domain squatter! [R&M]
I had never heard that Lindsay Lohan's 14-year-old sister Ali got breast implants until Lindsay blogged a heated denial. [People]
Jennifer Aniston's rebound rebound rebound man is said to be Matt Felker, a model. Meanwhile, John Mayer and Pete Wentz are hanging out more.
Paris Hilton denied that she's dumped Benji Madden for the CEO of MySpace. [The Awful Truth]
Because America will never tire of brutal torture on the part of insane, gung-ho law enforcement authorities, drunk driver and enemy of military training Keifer Sutherland would like to make a movie based on 24. [OK!]
Tori Spelling says she'd still like to be in the 90210 spinoff, and implies she only dropped out because of the timing of her kid. [OK!]