So remember how Gawker became obsessed with the Montauk Monster, and everyone was like, "Ho ho ho, isn't that funny and delightful, let's laugh at the 'monster' all summer until it kills us all in our sleep, LOL'?" And then CNN did a story but even Wolf Blitzer had trouble maintaing his usual humorless melodrama because he was about to bust out laughing? Well, no one's laughing now because monsters are eating the Main Stream Media alive. The terrified reports keep coming: Newsweek, as we just reported, launched a panicked, desperate effort to claim the Montauk Monster is a Photoshop hoax. CNN aired video of a Chupacabra in Texas. And now multiple cable news networks have picked up on a Bigfoot discovery that even we laughed off initially. BUT NO ONE IS SCOFFING NOW OH NO NOT ANYMORE.
Here are the terrifying pictures of the Bigfoot set to be "unveiled" Friday at a horrific press conference that will change the history of mankind forever or at least devour a couple of minutes during the slowest news period of the year:
The men who found this thing are noted Bigfoot Hunting Hobbyists and first disclosed their findings several weeks ago in the respected, peer-reviewed journal/internet radio funtime show Squatch Detective. The thing is 7 foot 7 inches tall ad weights more than 500 pounds and is estimated good for a Nielsen 3.2 share.