According to a tipster, before he became the well-known singer/songwriter/ladykiller that he is today, John Mayer was a Secret Service agent involved in a plot to assassinate President Bush and also subjected himself to bizarre government genetic tests which made him a mutant. We for one, believe it. How else could you explain his intense desire to suck face with Perez Hilton? Read the important dossier on Super Mutant "Meyer" after the jump.

"Let me inform you about something, JOhn MEyer was a Secret Service
agent outside Los Angeles California before he became a musician. He investigated theid guy Damian Light aka the D unknoen before he
became publically a superstar and was put oup on television with
his face in the back of the screen, John in turn supported a
corrupt portion of the Federal MIlitary in investigating and setting
D Unknoen up in a fake plot to destroy President Bush in an
asasination attempt scanda, Unknoen was questioned after Meyer
recieved the Grammy by Secret Service at a Police Station in Santa
Barbara, by agentsw on JOhn meyers Secret service team... Unknoen
(Light) was found innocent and let go and granted immunity even in
htreatening th epresident by the secret Service who also calimed
allegiance to 'People" magazine and weekly,, Unknoen then worked for
a branch of the mIlitary known as the White HOuse..for a peiiod of
Six months.. Unknoen knew Aniston since he was about 8 or 9 and that
was over twenty years ago, she used to date his
caretaker............Unknoen was set up on a show business
initiation inorder to date actresses an dmake professional mives, detalis about htis are located ont he internet but are knot that
huge, these dont include a list of his celbrity contacts......
*/Meyer on the other hand, and this aint funny, may have set himself
up as a genetic mutation, submitting himself to genetic testing with
over five or ten clones at large with identical faces, but some of
them use a hairdye, and others are over wight, they supposeldy sing
one of the other clones songs..... who knows who writes the music,
because it is horrible/*"

Contact information for this author is not available.