• Madonna gave a 30-minute speech at her 50th birthday party. And frankly she was kind of sad that mainly nobodies showed up and not her celebrity friends. Also, the singer may not be able to get the Malawian "orphan" of her choosing. Madonna consoled herself by going to a strip club.
• Here some pictures from inside Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres' DeWedding. [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer's breakup officially reached the trash-talking phase. Apparently John was cheap and leached off Jen's Hollywood money. He also leached off her celebrity by chatting up the paparazzi. The dirt on Aniston should be out in the next news cycle. [Scoop]
• Patrick Swayze, who has pancreatic cancer, is reportedly still smoking. [Sun]
• There's a sad celebrity shortage at the big Republican convention for some strange reason. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't confirmed, and he's an elected Republican politician. [R&M]
• Tyra Banks doesn't care how long you've been waiting for her show to start. [P6]

Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at .