It's hard to imagine what life must be like right now for Andy and Mark Madoff, the sons of alleged scam artist Bernie Madoff. It's still unclear if the two had any role in helping their dad carry out the $50 billion fraud and if they'll eventually face legal charges. Their reputations have been decimated. Worst of all, they didn't get those Hanukkah gifts that their dad hoped to give them, expensive pieces of jewelry that were intercepted by the authorities (and may ultimately cost Bernie his freedom if a judge rules the gifts violated the conditions of his bail). They didn't get the cash that Bernie had hoped to give them either, the signed checks to friends and family discovered in Bernie's desk drawer when he was arrested. But, as always, we're here to help!
Obviously, we can't replace the precious jewels they were supposed to have received. But we can give them imitation pieces that we bought at Duane Reade for $12! Trust us, boys, no one will be able to tell the difference. And if money gets really tight, let us know: We'll give you the receipt and you can return them for cash.