Attached to this post, the party calender for the forthcoming Democratic and Republican national conventions in Denver and St. Paul. As everyone has acknowledged, there is no news at these conventions, at all. They are just excuses for partying. So this, really, is all your average conventioneer journalist needs to know. We'll tell you which ones to attend and which to skip in favor of unorganized drinking, below.

Attend, in Denver: Any and all "VIP" or "Cocktail Receptions." At night: Creative Coalition, GLBT Unity Dance, Distilled Spirits "Spirits of Denver" Party (alt: Maker's Mark party), Kanye.

Attend, St. Paul: Distilled Spirits, the Maker's Mark thing. Honestly, unless an hour or two of shitty cocktails at an open bar means that much to you you are then advised to go drink with the locals.

Skip: Everything else.

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