• Britney Spears thinks a 1,200-calorie-per-day diet has left her "the healthiest I've been in years." The grueling workouts helped too. Sounds healthy! [OK!]
• In a bid to make Jennifer Aniston look even more desperate, her agents supposedly called around Los Angeles seeking dates for the actress. Meanwhile, it emerged that John Mayer dumped her via text message.
• Olivia Newton-John had a secret wedding to her boyfriend of 15 years. Her last boyfriend mysteriously disappeared from the face of the planet. [OK!]
• Chris Kattan was married to model Stephanie Tuft for eight weeks. Now they're separated. [National Enquirer]
• Orlando Bloom is still dating, publicly macking with model Miranda Kerr. [P6]
• Kurt Cobain loved Metallica, detested Guns N' Roses and especially Axl Rose. [R&M]
• John Lennon's killer was denied parole after apologizing and saying he decided to kill Lennon after looking at the cover of Sgt. Pepper. [Post]

Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.