Surprise! It's a Long, Hard Road to a Size 2

Ever looked at ads for exercise devices that promise to morph your body into that of a teenage Korean gymnast on steroids and been vaguely tempted, notwithstanding the fact that the before and after pictures feature a "results not typical" disclosure in 3-point font? Especially since the transformation is always touted as fast and involving a very minimal time commitment? Well, exercise physiologist Carl Foster has come to save you from yourself.

He took a group of pudgy couch-potatoes, put them on various workout regimens for six weeks, and got a panel to rate their before and after pictures from 1-10. Sadly, the ratings barely changed, proving once and for all that exercise involves so much effort for so little reward, it's not worth it unless you earn money for the way you look. Or are a gay man who gets laid at the gym, of course.

Fitness Isn't an Overnight Sensation [NYT]