Won't someone stand up for a poor, beleaguered pornographer like Joe Francis? These days, his Spitzer-related paydays are too few and far between, and the ex-jailbird spends most of his time battling lawsuits filed on behalf of women who appeared in his Girls Gone Wild videos while underage. Now, Francis is fighting back against what he dubs "southern justice gone awry," filing his own lawsuit in Los Angeles County Court that alleges a massive, breast-baring conspiracy cooked up by teenage girls and U.S. District Judges alike. In fact, according to THR, Esq:
The complaint even introduces his case by saying his injustice is the same kind of tale that "Nina Simone sang about; William Faulkner wrote about it; historians teach about it."
...Francis got in trouble when his film crew taped 17-year-old women in Panama City in 2003. He claims they entrapped him by pretending to be 18 or older. He was sued by the parents in Florida and wound up in Judge Richard Smoak's courtroom. Francis says that Smoak was a "long time friend and decade-long former law partner" of Ross McCloy, whose firm represented not only the parents, but previously the Panama City government in a civil suit brought by Francis. The complaint can hardly contain Francis' disgust at this development: "Imagine if a person in a dispute with a businessman chose their long-time personal friend and business associate to 'independently judge' the dispute with the businessman. Such a claim wouldn't work in a 3rd grade classroom..."
Although, if it would, could someone please let Francis know? He's heard those 3rd-grade girls are hella easy! In all seriousness, what Nina Simone songs or Faulkner quotations could possibly measure up to this injustice? Can there be anything in the arts that could hope to hold a candle to the saga of an oppressed, well-hung porn king sentenced to prison and poop-scooping?